Butt Out!

TEN ABSOLUTELY IRREFUTABLE REASONS TO QUIT SMOKING

* You will become rich

* You will no longer stink

* You will be more attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex, whatever)

* There is nothing more satisfying than feeling smug and who is more smug than a reformed smoker?

* You will be able to pass through customs without the help of snide customs officials ripping through your luggage

* You will be able to scoff at your workmates as they routinely freeze outside the office every two hours for a ten-minute hit of nicotine

* You will be able to say 'No, I don't have a spare fag,' with utmost pleasure - everyone knows there's no such thing as a spare fag

* You will be seated at the best tables in restaurants

* You will have an excuse to go to the gym due to post-smoking weight gain

* You'll have more money to spend on beer; the drug of choice for people who like to feel better about themselves